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College is expensive. Who knew?

I think I was supposed to, you know, before I was accepted to Cal State. I mean, wow. $300.00+ per credit. Holy shit, that’s $1200 goddamn dollars per class. $13,000.00 for the 51 credits to get the degree. That’s 5 bloody digits and it has a comma in the number.

So I find myself at another crossroads. Do I stop now and just focus on finding a job with fewer qualifications? Or do I press on, accrue some massive debt, and then try to look for a job that may not be there when I’m done? Without the degree getting a job ahead of other people with the 4 year will be harder. With it, there is still no guarantee.

Oh, and Sloper isn’t helpful. He says, “Do what you are passionate about.” Then I go looking and the most common degrees for Designers is English and Art. Yet, when I tell people, “I study English with a focus on writing,” they reply with, “And you want to be a Game Designer?” I hate people sometimes.

On the one hand I’m terrified that my life will be in some kind of holding pattern until I finish. Three more years (of night classes) and being in my current situation seems unbearable. Yet, after I have it I can only see good things. Even if I never get to be a Game Designer (again) I’ll always have a degree to fall back on and jobs that I could not get without it. I can get a job as an Editor for a magazine or an online publication, do some writing (which I enjoy almost as much as designing – just differently).

So I guess in some small part, it’s what I want, deep down. The Degree. I see it as another step, the next step. But the way it will change my life for worse in the meantime frightens me.

I’m reminded of a quote by the former host of Monster Garage, “If it wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be cool.”

– At least it isn’t just me. The Animator is trying to get accepted to an Art School and is totally stressing about it. Consequently that’s taking up his time and making it a little tricky to schedule our first post-school get together. But you know, if I was making the choice of doing a side project or using the time to get accepted to a prestigious school, I would do exactly the same thing.

– Right, speaking of the Project again, I’m trying to organize a meeting with the Artists so we can get some art finalized and/or conceptualized and move ahead. I think that that is the next logical step. I’ll post something useful afterwards, maybe even pictures!

– One more thing, Gears of War 2 is more difficult than you’d think it would be. They’ve gone and added bits that can kill your ass quickly – outside of the main game mechanics. I get it, if a Locust hits me with the Lancer Chainsaw I get killed. But mortars? Really? I can get dropped by stupid shit like that which I can’t duck and avoid? That’s so stupid. I think it’s just that one part, but I find it asinine. I meam, I’m not bad at the game, I beat the first one on Nightmare or Insane or whatever the hardest setting was, and now Hardcore puts me over a barrel and does unpleasant things to my soft inner meats. Yet, when the gameplay is working, it works. There’s some of kind of alchemy at work in the code of something. It’s digital crack and I’m addicted.

-Speaking of digital crack, I like playing the Horde mode all by myself. Me against 12+ of them makes me feel like John McClane. Even when I die it’s heroic. When I win, let’s just say the language is…colorful.

-Wow, I sound totally schizo in this post. It starts angry, gets melancholy and then ends with a joke about my inside meats and a Die Hard reference. This is already a very weird day indeed.