The Once and Future Something or Other
Controller input is done. All done. From the front menu to the combat controls, the buttons and the sticks just work. With their inclusion, the game just works better. I’ve found that sometimes you get used to something without it necessarily being the best way. Like originally the Double Jump was done by pressing Up during a jump. It worked great for me, but everybody else seemed to hate it with the kind of passion usually reserved for the people on VH1 reality shows. I mean, they treated the mechanic like it had the Herp, everywhere. So after doing some fiddling it worked using the same key, the all around “Jump/Contextual Action” key. The change made the game so, I can’t quite find the words now, but I did then.
What I’m getting at is that now, I can’t really use the keyboard anymore. I mean, I still can, since I’ve done it for the last two (!) years, but the controller is so much smoother, such a superior way to enjoy Thief. Now I know that there is a slight Familiarity-Breeds-Contempt action going on here, and anything different in the experience will be considered new and shiny, but really the difference the controller brings is superb.
What I did find out though, one it’s had time to sit and stew, is that the Enemy Combat AI is about as smart as stupid rocks. In fact, the whole system is buggy and hardly playable. Add that to the fact that actions happen and the only way I have of telling that actions are happening is a displayed numeric code that I only faintly remember. So things get stabbed, attacks get dodged (which still works, so hurray) and enemies get bounced around like short bus occupants on a windy road, and I enjoy the spectacle of it about as much.
So, it’s buggy, but it’s not broken. That’s going to need some serious spit and polish, but that system still needs the rest of the pieces for that polish to mean anything.
Finally, I got a new letter from our good friend, Timmy the Tukwut (or whatever the fuck he is). It went a little like this, seriously.
Hey there little guy!
Remember how before you wanted to come to our school and then we said okay? Then we changed our mind and dropped you? Yeah, that was great! Almost as good as afterwards when we let you apply again, so we could reject you. That was the best joke ever! We love jokes! Do you love jokes too? They are soooo funny.
Anyway, time for jokes is over. We got the new application that you sent in, and we decided that we still would rather have somebody else, especially after that short bus comment you made.
Are your dreams and hopes dashed yet? Mmm, we love your tears as much as we love jokes! Of which this is one!
Yes, that’s right! We’ve decided that your dollars are in fact good enough for us, and would be happy to have you give them to us. Times are tough after all, and Tukwuts (or whatever the fuck I am) have to be sated with a steady diet of freshly clubbed baby seals and True Sadness. Your dollars will be sufficient to buy both.
See you in the Fall!
Timmy the Tukwut(or whatever the fuck I am)
So, two things there. First of all, I regret nothing about what I just wrote/transcribed. I should, and yet I don’t. Second, the “whatever” bit after every time I say Tukwut (you know the rest by now) is something that I will continue doing for as long as I remember to do it, because I find it humorous, in spite/because of the salty language. Although the new mascot is just a Cougar or something, which is somehow lamer. Anyhow, long story short, I’m officially a student again, at least for the time being. I should be in a better mood about it, but really, I just can’t anymore. Way too jaded now. I’ll try to muster giving a crap.