Claustrophobia

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Claustrophobia

Trapped like a rat in a maze without doors. Trapped like a doomed cosmonaut on a space station leaking air. Trapped like I’m in an Iron Lung. Trapped with no way out.

As per the technical difficulties post, I’ve got no new game stuff, but I do have some new “student” stuff, so that gets a post. Like in the experiment of Science, I decided that I was going back to school in spite of my shiny new degree. The BA being an object of lust for HR managers and practically a requirment for jobs. Once I got over the sticker shock, I’ve spent the last 2 days trying to log into the CSU site to register for classes.

This gets to the issue, and a mistake of mine, but the story starts last year. I thought last year that I wasn’t sure if I wanted an AA, and applied directly to Cal State to get in. My thinking at the time was, “Even if I stay at Palomar to get my AA, I’ll be in the system and be able to register at a later time.” Figuring that a later date there may be more students trying to attend, I thought that applying and getting in would secure my spot ad infinitum. So the logic went anyway. So I was accepted for the Spring 2008 semester and it turned out I stayed to get my AA and my Game Design Certificate.

But here’s the problem in my plan and the flaw in my logic – the school has a policy of attendance. If you’ve been in classes, you can take 1 semester off. If you haven’t and you’ve just enrolled you must attend classes during the semester you were accepted for or else your admission is voided. So yeah, turns out I am not a student at Cal State – student number and Acceptance Letter be damned.

Why Claustrophobic? I’m trapped. At best I can apply for next Fall, and still not be doing what I want to be doing, my life stuck in the mud of anonymity and obscrurity. Or at the very least, passing me by. So here I am, professionally and academically stranded in Purgatory feeling that the goal that once seemed so obtainable – is slowly slipping away. I mean, one more semester, six more months and so on and then I find that I’ve never done what I really wanted to do.

I feel that something drastic may be in store. Dante managed to escape Hell and Purgatoy, I should be able to also. In any event, I simply cannot stay.